Who’s Pat?

PatAllow me to introduce myself. I’m Pat, a lesbian who was in a heterosexual marriage for 20 years–and for 15 of those years didn’t even realize I was gay! Talk about denial–that’s how far into the closet I was. I am now divorced, though I maintain a cordial relationship with my ex-husband and have two wonderful adult children.

As I began to come out in midlife, I realized I was not alone. Many of my lesbian and gay acquaintances denied their sexual orientation for may years and lived a straight life within the context of marriage. Some estimate that there are up to 2 million gays and lesbians in heterosexual relationships. It is a very sad social situation which serves little purpose but to cause pain.

In order to help others who are coming out as adults, some married, some single but closeted, I have a coaching service called Discovering Pride. For more information, please visit my website at www.discoveringpride.com.

9 Responses

  1. leevg, on December 8th, 2007 at 10:46 p12 Said:

    Hey Pat! It’s Lee from Virginia – one of your ICA classmates. You go, girl! I love the blog! I’m straight, but not narrow (as they say!) -In my past life I was a real estate agent, my partner was a gay man (well, he’s still gay, but not my partner anymore!) and the bulk of the business I did was with the gay & lesbian community. I know I don’t really “get it” since I’m not gay and haven’t had to deal with the real issues on a really real level, but I do kind of get it – I hold a very special place in my heart for ANYONE who has to go through life feeling bad, hiding, pretending, lying about who they are -it’s not right and it’s not fair. Everyone has the right to be their authentic self -or should, anyway. My dream is that the gay/lesbian issue will one day cease to be an issue at all and we can all just go about our OWN business and leave each other the “F” alone!!!

    I look forward to “seeing” you around ICA!
    :) -Lee

  2. leevg, on December 9th, 2007 at 10:46 p12 Said:

    HI again!

    I blogrolled you -check out my blog at http://www.leesinsights.com.

    -Lee
    http://www.leevangiezen.com

  3. pixieblue, on December 23rd, 2007 at 10:46 p12 Said:

    Hi Pat! Thanks for the comment. I re-read that post and realized how angry I actually was when I wrote it. I knew my insane ranting and raving served a purpose. Awesome blog; I’m so gonna roll it so I can keep up.

    blue

  4. bibomedia, on February 27th, 2008 at 10:46 p02 Said:

    Have a nice day !

  5. Joe, on July 3rd, 2008 at 10:46 p07 Said:

    Hi Pat,

    Here is a campaign that is trying to get the world record for the most simultaneous same-sex marriages (200 couples at once). It’s an inventive way to celebrate the California ruling and highlight the positive. Here is a link to the campaign: https://www.thepoint.com/campaigns/same-sex-marriage-2008.

  6. Jennifer, on July 31st, 2008 at 10:46 p07 Said:

    Hi Pat,
    I write a blog from another angle of the MOM. I am an adult child of a mixed orientation marriage. My dad was gay and remained married to my mother until his death. You can read it here http://kidsofqueers.blogspot.com/.
    Thanks for sharing your story

    Jen

  7. Pat, on August 2nd, 2008 at 10:46 p08 Said:

    Hi Jen,

    Thank you for visiting my blog. I have children and it is interesting…and somewhat wrenching…to read the story from your perspective. I am sorry people are the way they are. I am sorry everyone isn’t accepted for who they are. It is a terrible thing to have to live the experience first hand. But, in the end, we are all innocents, being tumbled by life.

    Pat

  8. Ontotalielt, on December 7th, 2008 at 10:46 p12 Said:

    Hi! Wonderful site! Great job! Hope this helps. Happy holidays!

  9. knowledgetoday, on March 29th, 2009 at 10:46 p03 Said:

    I love your site. Keep it up !

Comments are closed.