Fear can be a good thing. It is a device that tells us when we might get hurt. Listening to your inner fear when you are in a dangerous situation may save your life…like when you are threatened by someone or when a car is coming toward you and you dodge it. But what if you are having fear and your life isn’t being trheatened? What if you are having self-doubts about a taking a job or about dating someone you just met. Sometimes fear can just get in the way of your life instead of protecting it.
What is that fear about, anyway? Where does it start? Why is it so hard to overcome? When we are kids, we think we can do anything. We try everything. Slowly, over time, we develop inhibitions. We start to measure ourselves against others and make judgments about how we act and our capabilities. We realize other people can do some things better than we can and we do other things better than they do. We become self-conscious of what people will think of us when we perform badly. Slowly paralysis sets in. The dance floor is ignored because people will laugh, the art class is abandoned because your work “sucks.”
Now you are an adult, though, and these teen fears still plague you. Preventing you from getting the right job, preventing you from going after the relationship you want. This kind of fear has its origins down deep, but it can be overcome. Methodically, bit by bit, you can fight that fear until it is a manageable presenced in your life, but not ruling your life. Don’t let fear stop you!
Filed under: Coming out, midlife crisis
