Moving Toward Happiness

It’s Saturday morning. I try to write a blog post every Saturday morning. I have things to do today…coaching sessions, raking the leaves in my yard, visiting with my kids who are home for the weekend from college…so I set myself a time limit of 9:30 AM to get this post done. And here it is 8:53 and I haven’t thought of a damn thing to write yet. Or have I?

Isn’t it a little bit like this when we are stuck in a place we don’t want to be, a living situation that is painful and non-authentic, but we don’t know what moves to make to get out of it? I was sitting here staring at the computer screen, blank and frustrated. At one point in my life I was staring out the window, blank and frustrated. I wanted to act, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t know if I could find the strength. I didn’t know where to start or if I even SHOULD start to make the changes I needed to make. It all seemed so overwhelming.

What changed? Well, just like this morning, I decided to take one small step. To write this blog post I just started with a simple sentence, one that I knew to be true. Then another, then another. Similarly, when I was stuck at that awful place in my life, I took a small step, too. Then another, then another. I kept moving forward, sometimes got stuck for a bit, sometimes doubted myself, sometimes even drifted backwards, but in the end the forward motion was strongest and I was able to make significant changes in my life.

That’s not to say it wasn’t hard, even gut-wrenching at times. But here’s the point: you have 2 choices. The first is to stay forever in that stuck place, staring at the computer screen or staring out the window. Nothing ever changes, you are never happy, you never even get the chance at what you really want in life. The second choice is to act, to chip away at that huge problem in your life, like a sculptor chipping at a piece of marble until a beautiful statue is revealed. It may be tough, it may even hurt at times, but you give yourself a chance at life, a chance at happiness.

The choice is always your own. When confronted with that reality, I chose change and happiness. I have never regretted it. What do you think you will do?

It is now 9:14 AM, Saturday morning. I have almost completed my blog post. I am well within my goal time. I am happy. I think I’ll sit back and enjoy a cup of coffee before my first coaching session this morning. Life is good. Life is very good.

If you are gay or lesbian and are coming out in midlife, please visit my website at www.discoveringpride.com.